Slowly, but surely...

Saturday: Joined LA Fitness (they had a special price, but it's still more than I've ever paid for a gym membership! Strike that, MU Rec was the most expensive when all was said and done, but just barely...)

Sunday: Went in for the "fitness test", aka, let-me-tell-you-how-much-you-should-get-a-personal-trainer sell. It nearly worked.

Monday: Skipped the gym for a run/walk in the neighborhood. Ironic, I know.

Tuesday: Morning yoga class before rushing to work. Next time, my timing will be better.

Wednesday: 5:45am Cycle Zone class with A. I grumbled the whole way there and felt incredibly out of shape the whole class.

However, when I look back at the past five days, I feel as if I've made good choices and feel incredibly good about them. When I can't walk tomorrow and I try to go for my run/walk, I may be cringing a different tune...

Wordless Wednesday

Learning something new, one hobby at a time...

More Daisies

Wanting to jump start your weekend with a little inspiration? Watch this video...

http://www.wimp.com/spentbirthday/

The countdown to my birthday is under the three month mark, and I'm finally getting off my procrastinating butt to get the ball rolling. If all goes well, there shall be the first of (hopefully) many posts on Monday sharing joy...

Until then, smile often this weekend...

Have a Cheesesteak...

A throwback to the old days...

"Only at DiGiaCintos does the man walking out of the bathroom shake the hand of the man waiting in line...

...I really do work at Cheers."

Wordless Wednesday

This is me, in a rare "selfie", the morning before my interview that is helping me jumpstart my career and make a difference in the new state. More information to follow next month...

All's Quiet on the Indiana Front

I've been a little distant from the social media world for the past few days. This is hardly news to anyone to actually follows me anywhere, nor is it out of the ordinary for me. However, I've had a weird little whirlwind of excitement, apprehension, impatience, boredom, and a desire to move on with life.

Despite these emotions and feelings, I'm stuck in a holding pattern for a few more weeks with little chance to escape. But even this holding pattern has a certain blessed feeling about it, and so I shall do my best to be patient, controlled excited, and not disappear from the digital world!

The Best of Old Friends

The Best Friend and I in D.C. circa 2005.

Here's to hoping the smiles return and stay forever as her little one becomes stronger and grows older!

Wordless Wednesday

I love new stationary!

Heavy Thoughts

I'm quite sure what to say, except that I'm pulling for a miracle, and know one is possible.

One of my near and dear friends was due with a baby girl, just in time for my birthday. There were jokes as to scheduling the delivery so me and the little one could share a birthday, possibilities of having a Seuss-themed nursery, and my excitement over being able to (possibly) quilt her a baby quilt (ya know, if I can ever get the one I'm currently working on done and a new one started).

Woody Allen has a famous line: "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans". While I'm certain God isn't laughing at this, little C was born this past week (16 weeks early), throwing everyone's plans out the window and hoping for a miracle--either divine or scientific. Two states away, I feel pretty hopeless, so I'm doing the only thing I can think of: spreading the word and hope the thoughts and prayers of my extended Internet friends can help little C continue to be a fighter and pull this out.

So, friends of the world, please think strong and positive thoughts for a little one fighting for her life--make it so in the many years to come I can make jokes about how we should have shared our birthday, had she not been impatient to get here before September...

Happy Birthday, Pops!

Circa 1980s

Wordless Wednesday

I really do love this kid...

...and our Facetime dates.

Little bit of a daze...

It's been a whirlwind of five days, that simultaneously passed incredibly slow. I've been without my laptop for a few of them, but mostly I'm just a little off a regular sleeping pattern and therefore am a little dazed.

That cute, adorable, fluffy cat of mine has decided that play time is not 8am-9pm when I'm at home and not doing anything important, but rather 3am-5am. I wouldn't mind if she played then, I just wish she didn't want me as her playmate...

I sat her down and we had a discussion about it on Monday, and it worked as she let me sleep all of Monday night. However, she must have a short term memory problem, as last night was one of the worst in terms of persistent wake up calls.


In related news, if I could just find a job that required me to be awake at 3am, Miss Muffet would be set and I wouldn't even need an alarm clock!

Gamma Phi, Sweetie Pie

Missing these girls (and those that followed) today, and wishing them the best on their first recruitment in the beautiful new house.

Wordless Wednesday

View from my "workspace". It's hard to have a Wordless Wednesday if you don't leave the house for anything on Wednesdays...

27 Daisies

I read an article in the Huffington Post this past spring that I fell in love with--22 Candles of Love and Kindness (here) and put it on my bucket list to do this summer or fall. As it's rapidly becoming the beginnings of fall (at least in Indianapolis--tonight's low is 58!), I figured I should get on it...


I don't want to give it all away just yet, but I'm hoping to spend this weekend working on it and such. However, I've found one of the best motivations for me getting things done (in my personal life) is to tell others about them. Even if they don't remember I've told them, I know, and I hate to disappoint people, so I get it done.

Consider this my birthday planning post to the wide world, and my third motivation to work on it in the coming weeks. It will happen...and once I'm ready to share details, I'll post them here to include everyone.

The Girls with the Bikes

Circa 2004

Wordless Wednesday

BFF Park Time

New Adventures for a New Week

After a great (but exhausting) weekend back home, this week has started with a new adventure! While looking for a full-time career, I have picked up a part-time job as a server at a local restaurant. I worked my way through undergrad at one of the best restaurants in Springfield, so it felt a little like going home--except I forgot how much energy is required to be running on your feet all shift!

I'm excited to get back into the swing of working a little out of the home, while hoping it really is just a part-time filler until a job prospect works out. Until then, I'm going to enjoy meeting new people, making a little money, and (most importantly) getting out of the apartment!

Road Trippin'

This weekend is our first short trip home after moving me here, so I'm feeling quite the amount of mixed feelings. I'm excited to go see the little love of my life and the rest of my family, nervous about leaving my Miss Muffet, frustrated that I won't have a car, and not energetic enough today to try to make plans with people.

I'd like to blame it on the weather--it's been quite cloudy and little bit rainy here (what seems like) all week. Combine that with all of life's normal frustrations and it's been a little hard to be motivated and positive this week, except about things that don't help push me forward--or maybe that's just the problem with the past two rain days combined with plans falling through...

I know, I'm me.

Today's throwback is a picture from just a few years ago with my first two advisees and two amazing ladies who are out there and making an impact on the world as only they can.

As things stand now, this may be the first recruitment I will miss with my chapter...ever. It's also the first recruitment where I won't be able to send gifts and thoughtful things to the girls as I will likely still be looking for a job. It's a little hard to grow up...

However, even as a grown up, the Sorority still holds a dear place in my heart and will for many years to come.

The Missouri-est of Days

It was either Sunday or Monday that I was hit with the biggest homesickness I'd felt in a long time. The move hadn't hit very hard until I sent A off to play golf with one of his new "friends" and I had no one to call and come watch bad tv with me while they were gone. 

As missing Missouri appeared to be a possible theme of this week, today was much needed. I had lunch with a former professor, where we just chatted about life, our recent moves, Indy politics and education, and what I wanted to do with my life. I got to FaceTime with my adorable niece (kisses and waves and all) and make plans with my brother. And to top it off, I'm currently listening to the breathing sounds of my friends little one I'm babysitting--which means I got to see (briefly) two of my friends from undergrad that I haven't seen in almost a year. 

With all this Missouri in my life today, it might make me have withdrawals tomorrow--but I'll let the weekend fix that!

Wordless Wednesday

 

Homemade dinner from last week--mango pico de gallo, guacamole, bacon chicken quesadillas and fresh salsa...

Motivational Progress

So, I haven't run yet this week. Or sewn.

But I have worked! And applied to a couple more jobs. So I suppose that's progress. However today's pretty much been the longest day I've had in Indiana. A is working late, and I haven't left the apartment, so my only contact with something living is Miss Muffet. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but she sleeps 15 hours a day, so my human contact has been minimal...


All the complaining aside, it was nice to get a few hours of work in and neglect the housework for the day...and tomorrow shall be jam packed with a lunch date and babysitting--almost like I'm back home with friends!

Slowly, but surely, I'll wear this place down and it'll be so excited I'm around I'll have to hide from all the enthusiasm...

Motivation

I love sewing. I really do. 

I love working. I really, really do. 

I even enjoy running. Well, let's be real, I love the feeling after running when I'm a little sore and am done. 

However, I'm not always good at motivating myself to get to doing those three things. Or at least, I haven't been very motivated the past two weeks since moving to Indiana. 

Motivation is therefore at the top of my goal list for the week. 

As is getting back on my running schedule. 

And working. And finding a job. And sewing (most of all sewing--little squirt will be here this week and my baby quilt isn't done!). 

But first of all: motivation. 

Little Lion Man Dance Parties

Yesterday was D's birthday, so our attempt at weekly video calls was postponed to today, and I can't wait to see that little face I adore so much.

Maybe we'll even have a dance party that spans three states...

Wordless Wednesday

Indiana morning run

Reclaiming My Black Rock

The black rock is where I spend my time
Writing a memory or writing a rhyme
Thinking about what is right or wrong


On the black rock is where I like to go
After a long night coming home from a show
And that's where I write my song, all day long, the black rock

I complained on Twitter earlier today that it's giving me writers block. The whole 140 character thing is wonderfully exciting and fun--until you have to write a five page paper for a doctoral level course.
I suppose though, to have writers block, you'd have to consider yourself a writer--or a procrastinating college student--of which, I'm neither. And so to write this, I do what I do best. Borrow someone's words that are far more eloquent than mine. O.A.R.

Sometimes I just look around to take in the feeling coming out from the ground
But that's something I do sometimes
And then I just step out the door to take in the wind coming off the shore
And that's just what I'm doing tonight

Really, all the pressure has come from stumbling upon an amazing blog, and wanting to write something deemed--in my mind--worthy of sharing. Simply reading the premise, I wanted to be able to share. But as I read other women's words, I became so intimidated, that the writers block set in harder.

 
The black rock is where I spend my time
Writing a memory or writing a rhyme
Thinking about what is right or wrong


On the black rock is where I like to go
After a long night coming home from a show
And that's where I write my song, all day long, the black rock

So I resorted to brainstorming while reading old blog entries from my other accounts, listening to old music, and simply thinking about the old friends I "chatted" with today and what they've seen me through. Much of it without them realizing. I am who I am because of my past. Most of us are. But I've spent the past year of my life struggling to reclaim parts of mine.


And when you are on your own, not speaking out is like fighting alone
And that is the worst damn way to fight
And when you are scared no more, reach your hand out and just open the door
And that's just what I'm doing tonight


Don't get me wrong, I'm happy in my life--great job, great guy, working on a great education, ya know, the works. But there are days...when that song comes on the radio and I'm thrown into a whirlwind of emotions I can't control. The days where I sit in my car and feel so incredibly alone. It's these days that the only people I feel I can turn to, that know me, don't live within an hour of me. And those that are here weren't around for the story.

The black rock is where I spend my time
Writing a memory or writing a rhyme
Thinking about what is right or wrong


On the black rock is where I like to go
After a long night coming home from a show
And that's where I write my song, all day long, the black rock


I've had enough school and psychology courses to know that what traumatizes one person can simply be a bump for another. Each of us is different, and each of us have different triggers. Many of my triggers are dates and songs. Once either has a meaning for me, it's not forgotten.


One, maybe two, three four five years ago til today
Surrounded by many
Many nights, spent all alone

I think part of the reason this has stayed in draft form for so long, was because I again just ran out of words. And so I let it sit. I kept living my life, tried to live in the moment, and the mean reds passed. Until they came back.


I know that it sounds like complaining, 
You can trust me I do it all the time
You can run just as fast as you want to 
But you're stuck with yourself all the time
I can run as fast as I want to
But I'm stuck inside my mind


There's something about packing up and leaving all you know that leaves one a little melancholic. Doesn't matter that I was moving to better things, new career experiences and a life with A that I've been dreaming of for four years; it's different, and hard to leave all you've known for 26 years. 


So I do it then, what I may what I might not
I'm getting kind of tired, Television Man
Don't tell me who love
Don't tell me who to hate


And so here I am. In a new apartment in a new state, just Muffet, A and myself. Once I arrived, the scary disappeared...

I'd rather live my life blind-not see a thing at all
These colors confuse me all the time
That's why in my dream, I live it mighty good
I'm a prince. I'm a king. I'm a warrior.
And I'm doing things right. All the time.

And I know I have to be patient to create and find my niche here. I believe in myself that I shall do great things when it's my time to do great things. But I've got to keep working and being patient until then...

Til this one night I found an old man
Sittin' on a big black rock
Got a beard grown down to his knees,
Wisdom he spoke
Knowledge he breathed


I asked him "What's your name?"
He said "I'm Old Man Time.
And my son, well I've been waiting for you so long.
I can see your in pain,
And I know somethings wrong.
I know you have been angry
Know you've seen hate


You've got to dig deep to deliver above
Sit. Learn. Create.
You gotta lose all your anger. Lose all your hate.
It ain't gonna work no more.


I wish the world was run by love.
Absolutely nothing more.


I laid down all my pain.
I got rid of my hate.


Now I'm just chillin' on a big black rock for the rest of my life.
This is where I'll stay.


We all have a black rock in our mind...

The Biggest Non-Complaint Complaint

I have too much time.

Way too much.

I clean up the apartment everyday; do dishes every other day, laundry every third day. I pack A's lunch every weekday before he leaves for work, after making him breakfast and feeding the fur ball. We eat dinner every weekday at 6, as I've ususally spent all afternoon thinking about what I'm going to make.

I've made cookies, attempted to make mozzarella cheese, and almost cooked more meals for the two of us this past week than I did for myself the whole month of June.

And you know what? It's kind of wonderful, because I'm in a nice little pattern;
     Get A off to work
     Peruse my collection of job sites
     Pick out several to apply for that day/week (& apply)
     Clean the apartment and make myself breakfast
     Apply to jobs
     Eat lunch
     Waste time on Pintrest
     Contemplate sewing projects, going to the pool, going for a run (i.e., being productive) and instead usually decide on wasting more time until I start cooking dinner.

I like schedules. It's nice. I like to be busy. But while what I'm doing is keeping me moving (or at least occupied), I'm not busy.

People keep telling me to enjoy this down-time while I have it; that it's good for me to relax and not be running in so many directions. I suppose they're right; many people would love to have that schedule above (or something similar), but I'm not sure I'm quite wired for it.

To sum up, my biggest complaint about Indiana so far is that I'm not busy enough. Which should be a non-complaint, and will be this week. I need to find something to do with my free time by next Monday though...


(As a sidenote, I mean both the accepted and the actual definition of peruse when I used it earlier...)

Score for Susie Homemaker

After my misstep with the dishwasher Wednesday, I have made a comeback! Baked eggplant parm with zucchini and meatballs, completely unpacked, and devil's chocolate and peanut butter cookies made. Not bad, if I say so myself...

Plus I made it to the BMV and have a new title and license plates on the way!

Not bad for my first week as an Indiana resident...

Throw Back (& Things I Love) Thursday

Missing these two today, but glad we got to spend some quality time together this month when B came to visit...

Catching Back Up

Upon prodding and reminding this existed, I'm attempting to start paying more attention to it. 

Starting with a Wordless Wednesday...

...with a few words. 

Dishwasher: 1

Susie Homemaker: 0